Ok, I know, I know it has been a really looooonnnnnnnnngggggggg time since I posted. I've had a lot of stuff going on and I havent really been on but about 3 times in about 2 months. I havent been doing good at all really so I didnt see any point of posting my failure. Today I weighed in at 199.4 thats way too close to 200 for me so I'm kinda freakin out. I was doing good but I've been stressing with work and tomorrow I start a new school so, I went back to my old ways of eating to fill my voids. Needless to say friends havent really been helping either. So anyways, sorry about the rambling. Tomorrow I'm going to try and get back on track. Scratch that I am going to get back on track, because this being fat is no fucking joke!  It controls my whole life and I'm sick of this shit I need to drop at least 20 by December so thats my goal! I want to be at 179.4 by December 8th. I'll probably wont be on a lot with school and all,but I am gonna check in and post my ups and downs. Wish me luck!

I got on the scale and the bitch said 200.6lbs. What a slap in the face. So, today like the fat ass that I am I eat instead of going to work out. I ate a shit load of calories so I'm not really looking forward to getting on the scale in the morning. O, and I didn't exercise! Hopefully it won't be too bad and I already made plans to go to the gym so I guess u can say I'm back on track. I'll let u know what happens.

In case u didn't read the subject line, I fell of the wagon. I had pasta! What a idiot. I know it's done and I cant go back and knock the fork out of my hand, but it still hurts. The only person I let down was myself. I was doing soooooooo good and actually proud of myself for a change. I could even see a difference. Now even if tomorrow I do lose weight its still gonna be in the back of my mind and I'm gonna start to see flaws in me. This sucks. All I can do is saddle up and start again tomorrow. Hope u all did better than me. Stay strong girls. TTYL